inner turmoil

i made these collages in a sketchbook as an exercise.  the good and bad feelings one has around being a creative person.  

there are two of me.  the one who doesn't feel like a real artist.  the one who doubts. and the other me is the one who celebrates my work, and puts it out for all the world to see.  so how does one find the place in between being a bragger, being vulnerable, and being earnest?

marketing oneself as an artist is difficult.  it's like putting the inside of yourself on the outside for everyone to set their eyes upon.  it's uncomfortable, but at the same time necessary.  one moment you feel all vulnerable...will they like it?  will they think you suck?  and the next moment, you are on top of the world, a cheerleader for your talent and ability to create.  maybe that's why there are so many crazy artists out there.  they can't find the balance between needing to create art, and needing to market it to pay the bills.

today i am in between.  i guess i need to make one more collage to add to the ones above.  it should represent the artist who is situated somewhere in the middle of these two states.  the calm artist who makes work because it is truly inside, needing to come out.  the artist who places her work into the universe, and lets the people decide if it speaks to them enough to want it in their home.

it's on the list.  when it's done, i'll let you see....