miserable

i saw this list today on facebook, it was posted by the jealous curator, one of my favorite blogs.  it was originally created as part of the artist's survival kit, by keri smith.  click here to a link to the blog post in which it was included.  the idea was that you could print out the kit, and use it when you were ready to quit the whole art thing.  i know some of you may find this a bit negative, but for me, it truly resonates.  a sense of humor is also nice to add while reading!!

enjoy!

so much for focus

what?, you say?  no photo with her blog entry today?  that's because every single piece of art i did went in the trash yesterday.  i will call it a "cleansing" day, to make it sound like a positive learning experience.  but it didn't seem that way.  i had to go home and vent to my poor dear husband for an hour, then have a glass of wine, then take a very long walk with the dog and husband to clear it all out.  but i feel better today.

this whole artist thing is very exhausting.  don't let anyone tell you otherwise, because they are just lying.

ok...on to a better day.

AAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!

i am so damn frustrated. i brought a gessoed panel to the studio today to paint another figure in the series i am working on. it's a piece of crap!! this is what i ended up with after 2 hours. i started the whole process by tinting the panel cadmium red. let it dry. started painting and noticed that some of the red was coming up with the new color on top. so i tried to do a little test and scratched lightly with my fingernail. the paint scratched right off. i already had the whole painting blocked in, so i was not amused. i took it to the sink, and the entire thing washed right off. so i dried it, checked the package to make sure it was made for acrylic ONE MORE TIME. package said it was suitable for oils and acrylics...so i thought...maybe if i sand it first. so i did, and i re-started. seemed better. the tint coat didn't bead up this time. so i started painting again. from the photo you can see what happened. had the whole thing blocked in...seemed better...tried the scratch test...seemed ok...then the bad part. i made a mistake while painting, and tried to wipe it off while the paint was still wet. i do this ALL the time on canvas and paper. the dang paint wiped right off and TOOK EVERY LAYER down to the "gesso". so i brought it back to the sink, and you can see what happened with a wipe of paper towel. so i am DONE with this "gessoed" panel. it's now in the trash.

i feel better now. i am always telling the kids about product failure at school. that sometimes things don't work, and that is part of the artistic process. but i am still mad, and want to write the speedball company a big fat letter. i know i won't, but it still feels good to say so.

if you don't know me well, you may not know that i tend to vent with a big bunch of words. i just did...

now back to the proverbial drawing board.